How the stars are celebrating Yom Kippur

The stars are coming out for Yom Kippur!

Obama’s atoning for embarrassing his wife by not wearing his wedding ring.

Iran’s president let the American hiker go in lieu of observing Yom Kippur.

The execs at BP plan to hold their Yom Kippur services in De Nile.

Lady Gaga’s going to fast, then break the fast by eating her meat dress (with milk).

Carson Daly will be thanking God that his lame show somehow escaped cancellation for the 10th year in a row.

Lindsay Lohan’s atoning for…wait a minute, she didn’t do anything wrong! It’s all her dad’s fault!

Snooki’s willing to observe Yom Kippur, but is demanding a $25 appearance fee so she can buy booze afterwards.

Paris Hilton will celebrate Yom Kippur by moaning, “Oh God, Oh God, Oh God…” Then claim she thought the marijuana in her prayer book was brisket.

Joan Rivers plans to turn over a new leaf, but only to criticize its appearance.

Heidi Montag will strive to become a changed person. You know, another nose job, larger breast implants, a smaller waist…

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This post is purely a parody and written for entertainment purposes only. Lady Gaga just apologized for eating her meat dress, saying she didn’t “mean” to offend the hungry in third world countries. 

Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever comes first.      

Don’t follow me on Twitter.

Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com

Get Paid To Be Joan Rivers!

I'm not Joan Rivers, dammit! I'm Lindsay Lohan.

Someone on Craigslist is looking for Joan Rivers impersonators.

I believe these are the requirements:

– Must hate Lindsay Lohan, too.

– Must not look a day under 91.

– Proficient with dialing plastic surgeon’s office in a heartbeat.

– At least 200 years experience annoying interviewing stars on the red carpet.

– References required, like Adam and Eve.

– Equally annoying daughter a plus.

There are rumors the same company’s looking for a Betty White impersonator, but Betty White still says “yes” to everything.

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Willblogforlols is written for entertainment purposes only. Coming soon to a theater near you. In 3D.

Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever comes first.

Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com

Celebrity first jobs

Miley Cyrus: being the “before” picture for a dental ad.

Jesse James: working at the factory that makes Cheat-os Cheetos.

Joan Rivers: being maid of honor at the wedding of Adam & Eve.

Joe Biden: editing language from movies for TV.

Nancy Pelosi: activist against plastic surgery.

Sarah Palin: quitting her first job.

Justin Bieber: singing baritone.

Lady Gaga: playing nuts in a play about squirrels.

Tiger Woods: undressing other women with his eyes.

Mel Gibson: hating jews.

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This post is purely a parody and for entertainment purposes only.

Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.

Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com

How Famous People Fire People

Can we talk? You made me look too life-like. I’m firing you, Mr. Plastic Surgeon. – Joan Rivers

Let me be clear…you’re fired. – President Obama

I’m firing you as my agent. Okay, you’re rehired. You’re fired. You’re rehired. You’re fired. – Brett Favre

Wow you did an amazing job on my hair! You’re fired. – Donald Trump

Did somebody say you’re fired? – Ronald McDonald

Okay, Snooki’s now – like – actually more famous than me. I’m getting a new agent. And a new dog. You’re both fired. – Paris Hilton

This position is not responding and will automatically shut down in five seconds.  – Bill Gates

Well you see…the thing is…sometimes things work out. And other times, things don’t work out. When they work out, things are great. And when things don’t work out, that’s when things aren’t great. Unfortunately in life, there are times when we have to break bad news to people. No one ever said that life’s fair. But the good news is…everything happens for a reason. You just have to remember that. Everything happens for a reason. When you find yourself falling off the horse, you get back up again. In fact, I remember something my grandfather once told me………. – Joe Biden

Hello, agent? Anyone there? No one knows I’m still here. If you’re there, you’re fired. – lonelygirl15

You didn’t get me off this time. I kill you. – OJ

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This post is purely a parody and for entertainment purposes only.

Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Jay Leno Show and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.

Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com

Famous Work Quotes

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life…especially if NBC pays you off to leave. – Confucius

No work, no money. No money, no honeys. – Tiger Woods

A champion of the working man has never yet been known to die of overwork…but then again, Jay Leno was rushed to the hospital. – Robert Frost

Thunder is impressive, but it is lightning that does the work…and it must be lightning that affects T-Mobile customers. – Mark Twain

When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die…shouldn’t Joan Rivers be dead by now? – Eleanor Roosevelt

Work is a refuge of people who have nothing better to do…except for K-Fed. – Oscar Wilde

It is the working man who is the happy man. It is the idle man from a rich family who’s the happier man. – Benjamin Franklin. 

Want is the mother of industry. Want but can’t have is a real motherf@#$%r.  – Proverb

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get replaced by a guy in India twelve hours away. – Robert Frost

Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves…oh, who am I fooling. – Dale Carnegie

A man grows most tired while standing still…which is why they never made vertical La-Z-Boys. – Chinese proverb

Every calling is great when greatly pursued…unless it’s a guy asking a girl for a date on his cell phone while going through a tunnel. – Oliver Wendell Holmes

I’d kill to be at a normal 9-5 right now. – OJ Simpson

This post is purely a parody and for entertainment purposes only. You can find the actual work quotes and many more here. 

Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Jay Leno Show and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.

Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com