Archive for December, 2009

Top Ten Newly Created Jobs For 2010

December 29, 2009

10. Foster care workers for newly abandoned Zhu Zhu pets.

9. Demolition crews for remaining Blockbuster Video stores.

8. Day care workers for the next dozen babies from the Kardashians.

7. Ghostwriter for Sarah Palin’s new coloring book.

6. “Dream teams” for Charlie Sheen, Tiger Woods, and Gov. Mark Sanford.

5. Bodyguard for Charlie Sheen’s wife.

4. Writers and reporters for NBC’s new 10pm show, “The LA Times Show.”

3. Actual “soap writers” for Jon and Kate.

2. Complaint center for Obama’s new universal health care plan.

1. (tie) Actual security at Detroit Metropolitan Airport.

               Actual IT center at Blackberry.

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I’ve Been Laid Off…LMFAO!!!

December 28, 2009

Dear Fellow Unemployed Readers,

Earlier this month, I became a statistic.

On Dec 1st, my employer decided to add me to the growing list of 15.4 million unemployed Americans in the US by laying me off from my job.

As I’m sure you can imagine, Dec. 1st wasn’t a great day for me. I was confused, angry, sad, worried… But I was also a little relieved that I no longer had to go to a job I wasn’t particularly happy with.

Okay, that I actually HATED.

It sucks to be out of work. But it doesn’t HAVE to suck to be out of work.

My passion is joke writing. I write jokes for The Jay Leno Show as a freelance writer and I’m also an US Weekly Fashion Cop.

I created this blog to help you – and me – and the other millions of people currently out of work – get a laugh or two from the pressures of the job hunt.

Why should it all be serious???

In upcoming blogs, I’ll give you my take on this whole stupid job hunt. I’ll also skew job postings and  job and career advice articles (what the hell does someone from Examiner.com know anyway about posting the perfect resume if they’re ALSO umemployed and seeking work?). I’ll also share with you some my own comedic experiences from  job interviews. 

A quick topic for today….

I was told a few days after being laid off that I should really try hard looking for a job AROUND the holidays (the last two weeks of the year) because a lot of employers were actually hiring during that period.

Have you heard of this?

I personally think that’s bullsh*t. The last two weeks of year are DEAD in the business world. The freeways here in LA are EMPTY! Even President Obama’s lying on a hammock somewhere in Hawaii right now trying to come up with an excuse for Northwest Flight 253.

And besides, let’s say there IS a company that’s actually looking to hire someone before New Years. Would you really wanna work for them? They probably have employees who’d rather debate quantum physics than try to make out with the cute executive assistant at the annual holiday party.

Even if they weren’t male.

– WillBlogForLOLs