A letter for the people behind “Eat Pray Love”

"Even *I* went to go see 'The Expendables' this weekend."

Dear People behind “Eat Pray Love,”

Over the weekend, a group of aging men beat up a girl.

The victim was Julia Roberts. She was supposed to bring in swarms of women to the movies with a chick flick called, “Eat Pray Love.”

She didn’t. 

At the mall here in Century City, I was in a perfume store, where there were flyers all over the store promoting perfumes inspired by “Eat Pray Love.” While looking outside the store, there was a huge “building-sized” billboard for “Eat Pray Love.”

Sadly, the ads for “Eat Pray Love” just weren’t visible enough.

Or perhaps it’s because women prefered to see Sylvester Stallone’s botched botox job, Mickey Rourke’s head lice, and “living” proof that Dolph Lundgren’s still alive.

Or perhaps it’s because women didn’t feel like watching Julia Roberts get wet for a pizza.

Or perhaps it’s because women were getting wet for a film filled with one manly action hero after another.

Or perhaps it’s because women finally grew balls.

Or, all the above.

Even Julia Roberts’ brother, Eric Roberts, was in “The Expendables,” and people still went to see the film.

To put it another way, “Eat Pray Love” sucked rhino cock.

In closing, let this be a lesson to any director thinking of putting out another chick flick movie.

Don’t.

Ever.

Unbiasly yours,

Me & every other male on the planet

*****

Willblogforlols is written for entertainment purposes only. Some material may be inappropriate for hermaphrodites under 13.

Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever comes first. 

Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com