Posts Tagged ‘unemployment check’

Today I’m wondering…

April 20, 2010

If any job hunters still have the nerve to open their cover letter with, “I am writing in regards to the open position at your company.”

If any job hunters still have the nerve to write in the body of their cover letter that they’re “self-starters” and have a “strong work ethic.”

If any job hunters still use a “typewriter” to compose their “CV” and mail it through the US Postal Service after seeking a job in the “want ads.” (SCA-RY!)

If Larry King needs a full-time diaper changer. (SCAR-IER!)

If there are any companies that contact all applicants about the job, even “due to the high volume of resumes received.”

If other people out of work get just as excited as I do when my unemployment check arrives in the mail.

If there are any other blogs like mine that take a look at the lighter side of unemployment.

(Ya, I know…”Google it.”)

If anyone reads my blog and says to themself, “Don’t quit your day job………”

That’s all I’m wondering today.

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Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.

Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com

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NEW EDD Form

April 4, 2010

Did you look for work this week?  Y _  N _

No, seriously. Did you look for work this week?  Y _ N _

No, really…you looked for work this week instead of sleep in, go to the beach, and head to Vegas since you know you’re getting a check from us anyway?  Y _ N _

Okay, and you think we really believe you?  Y _  N _

And you think it’s okay to have fun instead of look for work? Y _  N _

Did you drink or take illegal drugs this week? Y _  N _

How about eat junk food. Did you do that, too? Y _ N _

Were you too sick to work this week? Y _ N _

Were you on your deathbed? Y _ N _

Can you prove it?  Y _ N _

Did you refuse any work this week?  Y _  N  _

Did you refuse any work this week because the job market sucks rhino pen!s and there’s no simply no work to refuse?   Y _ N _

Can you believe the hoops we make you jump every other week just to get a sh!tty unemployment check?  Y _  N _

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This post is purely a parody and written for entertainment purposes only.

Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.

Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com