Posts Tagged ‘tiger blood’

12 Steps Charlie Sheen Needs to Take ASAP

March 3, 2011

Uh-oh...Charlie's talking out of his ass again.

1.) Shut up. Rinse. Repeat.

2.) Detox. Rinse. Repeat.

3.) Take an actual drug test. Not a breathalyzer from Promises to determine if his breath smells like cocaine.

4.) Realize he has idiot blood, not tiger blood. He only has the sexual prowess of Tiger Woods.

5.) Understand the difference between winning and losing. He’s lost his show, his two kids, and his dignity. Wait, Sheen’s never had any dignity!

6.) Stop thinking about sex anytime someone says the number six.

7.) Realize there’s no such drug called Charlie Sheen. I looked it up!

8.) Get rid of that stupid grimace, complete with the arched eyebrows thing.

9.) No #9. Too busy following Sheen on Twitter cause I’m also an idiot and must do what everyone else does.

10.) Closing your eyes doesn’t cure addiction. Hiding out at Betty Ford for six months does.

11.) Get help quickly because I’m tired of the predictable comparisons with Lindsay Lohan and Moammar Khadaffi.

12.) Take 12-steps…to the nearest black hole.

13.) Uh-oh…Charlie Sheen’s butt f*cking another porn star again.

*****

Willblogforlols is written for entertainment purposes only. Going to watch World News Tonight now for some real news, like the real reason why Melissa Leo dropped the f-bomb at the Oscars.

Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever comes first.

Don’t follow me on Twitter

Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com