Posts Tagged ‘telemarketers’

Today, we should fire…

April 28, 2010

The person who decided to send me $2 in the mail to take a survey.

I got a letter in the mail to inform me that I’d be getting a call from some company to take a survey. And a two dollar bill was included as a way of saying “thanks in advance” for my participation.

First of all, they should have sent me $200.

Second, they should have checked a little-known list called Do Not Call.

Just because you bribe me with send me a dollar or two doesn’t mean I’m going to take your cruddy little survey.

And there’s a reason why it’s called the Do Not Call List and not the Do Not Call Except For People Taking Surveys List.

So hey…thanks for the two bucks!

Next time, try bribing me with an actual job that pays well.

I still won’t take your call…but hey, I’ll be quite appreciative!

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Willblogforlols is written for entertainment purposes only.

Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.

Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com

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NEW Salary Figures for 2010

April 13, 2010

Pro Golfer: $1,000,000 a year…but $5,000,000 if you have the balls to fly a sign during the Masters that says, “Sex Addict? Oh. Yeah. Sure. Me too!”

Subway sandwich maker: $8.00 an hour…but $0.00 if you actually call yourself a “sandwich technician.”

Plastic Surgeon: $450,000 a year…but $5 million if you can actually make Heidi Montag completely disappear.

Major League Player: $250,000 a needle.

Auto technician: Estimate is $90,000 a year…but $210,000 if you overcharge customers for unnecessary flushes and non-existing cracks.

Cocktail waitress/mistress: DOE (Depends on Evidence).

Congress: Don’t even ask.

Telemarketers: TBD while you’re just sitting down for dinner.

Aspiring screenwriters: DOT (Depends on Tips).

Bloggers: same as “aspiring screenwriters.”

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This post is purely a parody and written for entertainment purposes only.

Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.

Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com

Top 5 Needed Jobs Needed Yesterday

April 5, 2010

5.) Geek Squad who can actually fix a computer on the first try & not take 4-6 weeks for completion.

4.) Call center of home owners that call telemarketers 10-15 times a day without leaving a message.

3.) Actual sex addiction counselors for Tiger, Charlie Sheen and Jesse James.

2.) Better soap writers for Sandra Bullock & Jesse James.

1.) EARTHQUAKE PREDICTORS!!!

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Willblogforlols is written for entertainment purposes only.

Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.

Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com