Posts Tagged ‘man arrested sperm water bottle’

Man Guilty of Ejaculating into Co-worker’s Water Bottle

February 28, 2011

What would have happened if she dunked her water bottle after a run.

Remember this story?

A  male employee was arrested for allegedly ejaculating his sperm into a sexy female co-worker’s water bottle on two seperate occasions. She drank it both times and got sick.

Professional idiot Kevin Lallana confessed that he did it because “he felt that was as close as he could get to her” and by ejaculating into her water bottle “her lips would have touched” his sperm.

Imagine if he actually said something creepy!

The first time the female co-worker drank the bottle she got sick and threw it away.

The second time it happened, she sent the water bottle to a lab.

That’s when Lallana got himself into a “sticky” situation.

And, there are more problems now.

Turns out the female co-worker’s mouth is now pregnant with Lallana’s child.

That’s a lot to take in.

******

Willblogforlols is written for entertainment purposes only. Wondering now what the inside of the female co-worker’s mouth looks like under a black light. 

Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever comes first.  

Don’t follow me on Twitter

 Email:  andrew@willblogforlols.com

Advertisements

How to Lose a Job in 10cc’s

August 24, 2010

Mountain Spunk Water

An employee was arrested after allegedly contaminating a female co-worker’s water bottle with his own sperm

…Apparently, she got suspicious after he kept passing her in the hallway and going, “Hey, squirt.” 

…The worst part: after drinking the bottle, she went, “Oh, hair gel…” 

…Sadly, cause it’s over 100 degrees this week, the woman said she’d drink the bottled sperm water again. 

…I don’t know what’s worse: getting arrested for this, or everyone knowing now that you’re small enough to fit into a water bottle. 

…You don’t even want to know what he did to her Sloppy Joe. 

…There’s now a movie in the works about the whole thing. It’s going to be called, “Salt.” 

…Ironically, the name of the water bottle he did this in: Arrowhead. 

…This is definitely going to leave a stain on his record. 

…On the bright side, the guy who went down the inflatable chute wants his number.

…At least it finally answers the $64,000 question: yes, she swallows. 

***** 

Willblogforlols is written for entertainment purposes only. Please no unnecessary bodily fluids here. I have a blacklight. 

Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever comes first.  

Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com