Top 10 Excuses Why Lindsay Lohan Failed A Drug Test

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, Lindsay...we're just as bored with your antics.

by special guest Shawn Chapman Holley

10.) “Your honor, my client isn’t at fault. Someone slipped her drink with Paris Hilton’s purse.”

9.)  “Your honor, my client isn’t at fault. After four trips to jail, five trips to rehab, and ten warnings, you have to give her a chance.” 

8.) “Your honor, my client isn’t at fault. She was doing research for a movie about herself and nailed it.”

7.) “Your honor, my client isn’t at fault. OJ did it.”

6.) “Your honor, my client isn’t at fault. That skank Emma Stone’s taken over as the ‘new, old’ Lindsay Lohan and Lindsay’s one pissed bitch.”

5.) “Your honor, my client isn’t at fault. Clearly, it’s her dad’s fault.”

4.) “Your honor, my client isn’t at fault. She just wanted to squeeze in one last sin before Yom Kippur.”

3.) “Your honor, my client isn’t at fault. She was sleepsmoking.”

3.) (tie) “Your honor, my client isn’t at fault.  She accidentally tripped and the drugs just fell into her mouth.”

2.) “Your honor, my client isn’t at fault. She honestly thought Big League Chew now came in white powdered form.”

1.) “Look, your honor. My client’s famous and we both know she’s going to get off with a slap on the wrist. So just give her another empty threat already and let’s call it a day.”

*****

This post is purely a parody and written for entertainment purposes only. Heading to the movies now to see the new Lindsay Lohan movie Mean Girls Emma Stone movie Easy A. 

Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever comes first.      

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Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com