Posts Tagged ‘how bad is the economy?’

Gas prices are getting so bad…

February 23, 2011

Over 50 Billion Screwed.

– Lindsay Lohan and her prosecutor carpooled together to today’s court hearing.

– Today in Beverly Hills, unleaded’s now $4.01 and 10/10.

– Instead of saying “Welcome to Shell,” they’re just saying, “Bend over.”

– Charlie Sheen’s now getting screwed at the gas station.

– (In fact, it’s now costing Charlie $100,000 for full service.)

– Instead of Unleaded, Premium, and Diesel, it’s Tall, Grande, and Venti.

– In addition to paying at the pump, everyone’s now praying at the pump.

– Taco Bell may not have real meat, but at least they have free gas.

BUT THE GOOD NEWS: If gas prices get any higher, Lindsay won’t be able to afford gas to drive.

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Willblogforlols is written for entertainment purposes only. Going out now to buy something a lot less expensive than gas, like Starbucks Coffee.

Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever comes first.  

Don’t follow me on Twitter

 Email:  andrew@willblogforlols.com

Jobless Claims Dip To Lowest Level in 4 Weeks…Time To Panic

April 29, 2010

The Labor Department reported today that fewer people in the US are filing claims for unemployment for the second week in a row, suggesting that the economy’s improving.

Really…

And where exactly are these “alleged” jobs that are improving the economy…

Not in my area!!!

And should I be a oui bit concerned that I’m still sitting here at home in my bathrobe.

I kinda feel like a 29-year-old woman who’s turning 30 and just heard that her last remaining single friend got engaged.

Depressing.

Excuse me for a moment while I eat a whole container of Ben and Jerry’s.

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Willblogforlols is written for entertainment purposes only.

Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.

Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com

At what point do we panic?

April 7, 2010

Hey…if you’re unemployed like me, have you given yourself a timetable?

A timetable to find a job. And after that, to PANIC.

….that it’s been X amount of months and you’re STILL out work.

At what point do we panic?

How long are you giving yourself before you reach that point…

3 months?

6 months?

1 year?

2019?

Before all this bad economy stuff started to happen, I estimated it would take 3-6 months to find work.

Nowadays, I’m giving it 6 months – a year.

Even Obama‘s saying, “Uh, it’s gonna take awhile.”

I know myself well enough to know I start to panic after 6 months.

It’s at that point when I tell myself:

“I haven’t found a job yet. And now, I won’t. I’ll be jobless forever. There’s no hope. Woe is me, etc. I’ll just have to ration my savings until I have to move out of my home and into a cardboard box where I’ll wear a vagabond hat and hold a brown bag of cheap booze (along with a reddish nose and a Homer Simpson five o’clock shadow).”

Well, at least July 1st hasn’t come yet.

At that point, I’ll officially be out of work for 2 years and four days.

And the worst news: my cardboard box will go into foreclosure.

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Willblogforlols is written for entertainment purposes only.

Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.

Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com