Posts Tagged ‘coca-cola’

NEW Jobs Needed Yesterday

April 26, 2010

Advisor to Jennifer Lopez to change her mind about making any more romantic comedies.

Inventor to come out with a Dasani water that’s just bottled water. No salt. No magnesium sulfate. No chemicals to make Dasani basically Coca-Cola water.

Inventor to come out with an anti-hunch indicator that disables motorist’s instincts that I’m trying to get into their lane, and therefore speed up.

And on that note…

Inventor to come out with dual car pushers that push two cars going slow behind you in both lanes to actually go the speed limit.

CHP for non-existent CHP on the freeways everytime I’m going the speed limit and at least three other cars are going 95.

Computer programmer to stop my iPod from leaning toward the same 20 songs in shuffle mode, despite having over 3,000 songs to choose from.

Clean up crew for the mounds of shredded paper all over the carpets and floors as a result of shredding paper that escaped the shredder waste basket.

Movie enforcement officers to arrest movie theater companies that charge $19.00 a movie ticket.

Second advisor to Jennifer Lopez to change her mind about making any more romantic comedies.

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Willblogforlols is written for entertainment purposes only…most of the time.

Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.

Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com

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